Whether people change is largely determined by
why they change. And they are most successful at changing when they choose to change. This is where coaching can create problems, because it’s often imposed rather than invited. When we feel something is being imposed on us – even if it’s for our own good – our natural reaction is to resist. So if you’re trying to help someone change, your first consideration must be to approach him or her in a way that enhances, rather than dampens, motivation. Focus on asking more questions and giving fewer lectures. Your job is to help people uncover and strengthen motives they already have, so they’re more inclined to take action. If you think of your coaching conversations as interviews instead of sermons, you’ll be far more successful in helping people change.
Adapted from “
You Might Be the Reason Your Employees Aren’t Changing” by Joseph Grenny.
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