It’s understandable that managers sometimes get frustrated with their direct reports. Maybe someone turned in an assignment late, affecting the timeline for an important project. Or perhaps an employee who has a less-than-stellar track record made a mistake. Even if you’re good about keeping your annoyance to yourself, your negative thoughts are probably increasing your stress levels and damaging your relationship with the employee. To mitigate these feelings, try to imagine that your thoughts are transparent — that each of your colleagues can actually see what you’re thinking. If that were the case, you’d be less likely to think awful things about other people and you’d be more likely to find a way to understand their perspective. It can also help to ask yourself, “Is this a tragedy or just an inconvenience?” It’s probably the latter, and framing it as such can help you keep negative thoughts under control.
Adapted from the HBR Emotional Intelligence Series
