Getting feedback is inherently stressful. When we encounter people of higher status, experience uncertainty, feel less autonomy, or believe that something is unfair, we feel vulnerable. To make receiving feedback less ominous, reframe the experience. Realize that you only feel threatened; you're not facing a literal threat. And that the person providing you with feedback isn't necessarily lording her status over you – she is trying to help you improve. If you feel that the feedback is unfair, find out if she made wrong assumptions about you. You can state your true intentions and point out how they differ from what she assumed. But remember that your capacity for feedback is finite. If you've absorbed all the feedback you can at the moment, pause the conversation so you can make sense of what you've heard so far, and agree to continue only after you've had a chance to reflect.
Adapted from "
Make Getting Feedback Less Stressful" by Ed Batista.
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