Management Tip of the Day: Defuse Difficult People

Are you having trouble viewing this email? If so, click here to see it in a web browser. HOME   |   TIPS   |   BLOGS   |   THE MAGAZINE   |   BOOKS   |   STORE RSS   |   Mobile FEBRUARY 14, 2013 Defuse Difficult People Dealing with tough personalities can make you feel powerless. What can you do if your client is a being a jerk or your colleague is criticizing your presentation? You can improve the situation by doing three things: Shift the attention. Focus on your own feelings. Say something like, "I feel terrible because I know this meeting is critical and I really believe in my proposal." This helps you to keep the criticism external so you can respond thoughtfully. Respond with a non-judgmental observation. Attacking back only escalates the situation. A statement like the one above disarms the other person and often he'll back off. Ask a thoughtful question. For example, if a client keeps taking calls during your presentation you might say, "I know you're busy — is there a reason I'm not capturing your attention?" A question helps the other person become more aware of his behavior, and he might change it. Today's Management Tip was adapted from "Defuse Difficult People" by Nina Godiwalla. Watch the full video and join the discussion » Share Today's Tip: FEATURED PRODUCT Playing to Win: How Strategy Really Works Ebook Now Available A.G. Lafley and Roger Martin — one of the most successful business duos of the past century. With Lafley at the helm of P&G during its renowned turnaround and Martin as his strategic partner and adviser, they helped to double P&G's sales and push both profits and market value through the roof. Now it's time for you to take a page from their strategy playbook. PLAYING TO WIN, available now. It's the book everyone is talking about. "Strategy lessons, 101..." — Financial Times. "a fascinating tale..." — The Economist. ADVERTISEMENT Follow the Tip: PREVIOUS TIPS Revise and Edit Your Writing Project Always Say Yes to Networking How to Handle Your Conflict-Averse Boss Get the Parental Leave You Want Avoid Technology Glitches at Your Next Presentation How to Respond to a Customer Revolt Don't Let Failure Ruin Your Dreams Divide Your Writing Project into Manageable Tasks Know If Your Candidate Is Serious About the Job Reach an Agreement by Seeing It Their Way All Previous Tips BEST SELLERS HBR's 10 Must Reads: The Essentials HBR's 10 Must Reads Boxed Set HBR Guide to Persuasive Presentations HBR Guide to Better Business Writing HBR Guide to Getting the Right Work Done Introducing Mobile ManageMentor Powered by the proven content of Harvard ManageMentor™ iTunes >> Android >> UNSUBSCRIBE   |   UPDATE YOUR PROFILE   |   MORE EMAIL NEWSLETTERS   |   PRIVACY POLICY Was this email forwarded to you? If so, sign up to start receiving your own copy. ABOUT THIS MAILING LIST You have received this message because you subscribed to the "Management Tip of the Day" email newsletter from Harvard Business Review. If at any point you wish to remove yourself from this list, change your email address, or sign up for other email newsletters and alerts, please visit the Harvard Business Review Email Newsletter Preference Center. OPT OUT If you do not wish to receive any email messages from Harvard Business Review, click here. ADVERTISE WITH HBR This enewsletter is read by thousands of decision makers every day. Learn more about connecting your brand with this audience. Copyright © 2013 Harvard Business School Publishing, an affiliate of Harvard Business School. All rights reserved. Harvard Business Publishing | 60 Harvard Way | Boston, MA 02163 Customer Service: 800-545-7685 (+1-617-783-7600 outside the U.S. and Canada)