When you get into an argument, it’s natural to focus on your own feelings and perspective. But that makes it much harder to reach a resolution. In fact, psychologists have found that people use better reasoning strategies when they distance themselves from how they currently feel and consider what a situation means in the long run. So the next time you disagree with a colleague, try to see the conflict from a third-person perspective. What would someone outside the situation say about your disagreement? Or think about how you’ll feel about the conflict in a week, a month, or a year. Considering the future encourages you to step away from the present moment, which may be full of negative emotions, and helps you put the situation in context. Knowing that you might not care about the argument as much in the future will help you temper what you say and do today.
Adapted from "To Defuse an Argument, Think About the Future," by Alex C. Huynh
