You’re in the middle of a heated negotiation with your colleague. You want to come across as confident, but inside you feel timid. During these difficult situations, there are actually two conversations happening at the same time. One is obvious: It’s the conversation you’re having with someone else. The other is the conversation you’re having within yourself about how willing and able you are to stretch outside your comfort zone. To negotiate successfully, you need to question your position in both conversations. When you’re negotiating with someone else, look beyond your stated position to find commonalities. And when you’re negotiating with yourself, your “position” might be that you’re unwilling to be more assertive. Dig a little deeper and ask yourself why. Is it an emotional challenge? Are you afraid of being assertive? Or is it a skill-based challenge? Getting to the bottom of why you’re unwilling to step outside your comfort zone is the first step in becoming a better negotiator.
Adapted from "The Two Conversations You're Having When You Negotiate," by Andy Molinsky
