When you get feedback from your boss or your colleague, it’s tempting to focus on the criticism. After all, that’s where you need to focus if you want to improve. But dwelling on the negative can be debilitating. You also need to make sure you hear the positive:
- Write down the praise. When receiving feedback, don’t take notes only on the criticism. Jot down the positive feedback, too, so you know what to keep doing. This also cues the feedback giver that positive feedback is important to you.
- Dig in to better understand the praise. Ask questions and gather concrete examples of how you’re effective. For example, you might say: “I’m so glad my workshop was helpful to you. What about it was helpful? What did I do that helped you learn?”
- Believe it. Self-doubt can make us mistrust compliments. Don’t allow your self-critic to undermine the positive. Internalize the praise and act as if it is true, even if you don’t believe it at first.
Adapted from "Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head," by Sabina Nawaz
